Attending the World Theater event was a cool experience. I thought that the whole idea of this event was something that would be interesting to put on. Having actual actors read the stories of a well known writer was very interesting and a cool experience.
Although it was difficult to understand the first story's plot, I enjoyed both the stories I heard. After talking in class about how the first actor didn't make voice inflections or change his accent according to who was speaking in the story, it is evident that it wasn't only not hard for me to understand but it was hard for others. Rather the second story, I could understand more; maybe it was how the actor performed it or it was just the plot that was more understandable?
I think that overall this was a great event and I wish I could have been able to see the second half.
Dear Christin,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the concept of your story. However, I was a little confused whose story it was. At times it felt like it was the little girl’s story and then it felt like the parents story when you began describing how they met. I liked how you described the innocence of the little girl, but made the readers aware that our character was smart by having her internally question, “Who was Susan? Why would she be calling at seven o’clock at night? We had to have our roof re-tiled but they wouldn’t be calling after hours.” Nevertheless, I would like to know more about the character. Other than her physical appearances what are her physical insecurities. Also, the jump in the story from her being a little girl to a sixteen year old was confusing and sudden to me. What happen in between those years? Did her dad really cheat on her mom for over 10 years? It seem impractical that he would successful cheat on his wife for such a long time without her finding out or being suspicious. Please incorporate what takes place with the character internally as well as with her family as she grows up. Furthermore, does Susan know she is his mistress? If she did then she would say its Susan over the phone let alone call Chet’s house phone. However, it seems impractical that he would be able to play this women for over ten years.
I love all the telling and the bits of showing. Likes such as “This would happen a couple times a week and it just became routine to me just like brushing my teeth,” really intrigued me.
Nevertheless, I think incorporating more dialogue would help further character development. Finally, I like your “Hansel and Gretel-like story in which your leave crumbs or clues for the reader. I kept thinking the dad was cheating by the clues such as you incorporated into your writing. At the end, I think the woman should kiss him or show some affection to infer she is his mistress. Otherwise, this women could simply be a business partner he was having lunch with and the daughter was just over reacting. Overall, great job and keep it up!